Crying

I have never really cried from a spanking. Not to say that I haven’t been spanked hard or made an effort to cry, but it hasn’t happened yet. Could it be that I don’t feel bad enough for what I had done to deserve a spanking? Or that I am still not being spanked quite hard enough? In my opinion, my husband spanks me quite hard. He also lectures me the majority of the time he is spanking me, which always makes me feel ashamed. On occasion, he will spank me hard enough that my bottom is quite black and blue, though that doesn’t happen often. The spankings I am given usually cause me to whine, squirm, beg, and apologize, but never actually produce tears. The other day I was spanked because I had back tracked on one of my goals. My husband and I have been very busy that last week or two and we have really slacked on the yoga. He wasn’t going to punish me for it because of how hectic it had been, but when I told him I had also gained back a few pounds he thought that I deserved it. He didn’t spank me too severely because my goal was to lose 5 pounds each month and the month still isn’t over with yet, but I had back tracked. He had me on all fours on our bed with my pants and panties down while he spanked me with his hand. As I have said before, sometimes his hand can be the worst implement of all and this time he spanked me quite hard. He didn’t use any other implements, but he didn’t have to. I tried my hardest to stay still, I knew I deserved the spanking I was receiving and I tried to take it well. It wasn’t easy. By the end of it, however, I had started to tear up. I can’t say I was crying, but I had a few stray tears. I can say that I felt worse about back tracking on one of my own goals, especially this particular one, than I sometimes feel when I break a rule and get punished. I would really appreciate feedback on this one. Is crying during a spanking more of an emotional response from the guilt and shame you feel? Is it a response to the pain from the spanking itself? A combination, perhaps? Or is it something completely different? Since my punishment for back tracking on my own weightloss goal I have lost 2 pounds and I am well on my way to meeting my goal this month.

The Different Types of Spankings

As far as I can tell, every couple that uses domestic discipline in their relationship has different types of spankings with different uses and meanings. My husband and I actually have 4 different types.

1) The Playful Spanking: I think the name is somewhat self explanatory. These spankings are just for fun and usually performed in the bedroom or to get you “in the mood.” They aren’t very painful and my husband only uses his hand.

2) The You’re-Gonna-Get-it-Later Spanking: My husband and I lead busy lives. He works nights and sleeps during the day and I am a stay at home mom with a baby and 3 dogs. So I actually get a lot of these because we just don’t have the time for a Punishment Spanking at that particular time. I don’t write about these spankings because I would have a 5 sentence post nearly everyday. My husband uses this type of spanking when he wants me to stop misbehaving immediately, but can’t punish me to the full extent that I deserve. He will usually pull me over to him and give me a few, firm spanks over my pants with his hand or an easily accessible implement (spoon, paddle).  These spankings don’t hurt very much, but they let me know that I had better behave because I am already in for it. I actually got one of these today. My husband was in the shower while he was getting ready for work. I love playing practical jokes on him, and he usually finds them funny. Well, while he was in the shower I thought it would be funny to pour a glass of ice water over him. So I did. Then, to make it even worse, I flushed the toilet. I thought it was hilarious, my husband, however, had different thoughts. After he dried off and put shorts on, he grabbed me by the arm, turned me around and spanked me a good 10-15 times. He wad quite mad an kept telling me that I’ve got it coming…

3) Maintenance Spanking: I have written a few posts about this already. My husband gives me weekly maintenance spankings to remind me to behave and that he loves me.  They are always given on my bare bottom with any implement(s) he chooses. They definitely hurt and serve as a good reminder.

4) Punishment Spankings: For anyone that gets regularly spanked, I am pretty sure this is everyone’s least favorite kind of spanking. I am sure I don’t need to say this, but these type of spankings are given for misbehaving, breaking the rules, and not achieving my goals or back tracking. These spankings definitely hurt…a lot, are always done on a bare bottom, and include multiple implements of my husbands choice. Other punishments such as corner time are associated with this type of spanking.

I would love to hear about any different types is spankings that other couples are using. Feedback is always appreciated.

Maintenance Spanking II

Maybe someone can help me with this. My husband gave me a spanking shortly after I got out of the shower. I wasn’t wet, in fact I had my panties on and my hair in a towel when we marched me upstairs to our room. He had me bend over the bed and then pulled down my panties. He brought the hairbrush and the dreaded paddle with him this time and started with the hairbrush. He hasn’t been giving me a warm up spanking lately, and maybe that has something to do with it, but that spanking hurt a lot more than usual. I normally have a relatively high pain tolerance, hence why he has to use two implements for a simple maintenance spanking. This particular spanking, however, hurt like hell. I’m not sure if it was because my bottom was cold from just being out of the shower? Or because I had just been spanked a few days ago? But the from the first smack of the hairbrush on my bottom it stung and I was yelling, yes, yelling in pain. I actually had to beg him to stop and ask him to warm me up with his hand, which he did. . .but it didn’t help. After spanking me a few times with his hand, he picked up the paddle. I really hate the paddle and would consider hiding it if I didn’t think I would get in trouble for it. I have never actually screamed from a spanking before, but this time I came pretty close. He had to scold me for being so loud and for squirming so much. After probably 30 swats of the paddle my husband used the hairbrush again for another 10-15 smacks. I have been spanked 100 times worse than this, but for whatever reason this spanking was extremely painful. My bottom is very very red and quite sore. Guess I’ll be a good girl for a while. . .well, I’ll try anyway O:-)

How I Convinced My Husband. . .

I see a lot of women online asking “how do I get my husband to spank me,” or “how do I get my husband interested in domestic discipline,” or something of that nature. My husband was not even aware of domestic discipline when we got together and he was quite vanilla sexually as well. It took a long time to get him to the place that he is now, and it wasn’t easy. Our relationship may have progressed faster if I was able to vocalize exactly what I wanted and expected, but I was shy. It has always been difficult for me to express that I feel like I need to be spanked and punished and that I am into different thigs sexually. I am always afraid of freaking someone out and scaring them off. I had eased my husband into it over the course of a year. I started out by simply telling him I liked to be spanked. I’m sure he assumed I meant just sexually, and I let him think that because I wasn’t about to tell him that I liked my bottom beat for punishment. So he would playfully spank me while we were in bed. Then I told him that I liked to be dominated. I like the feeling of being helpless and the lack of control. So he would exercise power over me sexually from time to time. When I finally got up the nerve to tell him that I wanted him to punish me that’s where we ran into problems. Like any man with a good mother, he was raised that hitting women is wrong. He wasn’t comfortable causing me pain or treating me like a child. I think this is a common problem. I took my time with him and I didn’t push. If I had pushed too hard I think it would have completely turned him off to the idea. He would have been too uncomfortable and it would have just caused arguments instead of progress. So I took my time and slowly got him more comfortable with the idea of spanking me. I explained to him that it was consentual and I was asking him to do it, so he didn’t need to look at it like he was hurting me. He would spank me from time to time, but for him it was more sexual than anything. Each time he would spank me, I would show him how submissive it made me feel, and I think he liked that. At this point, whenever he would spank me I would have to ask for it. Something I hated to do. I would basically beg him to spank me without me having to ask, but he never did. This was my fault. He didn’t know when to spank me. We didn’t have rules set and he felt weird just telling me to bend over for a spanking for no reason. After a while, he told me he sort of enjoyed spanking me and he was getting more comfortable with it, but he still didn’t know when to punish me. Finally, after about a year, I got the guts to sit down with him and explain to him exactly what I wanted. We would have had a lot less problems if I had done this in the first place, I think. I sat him down and showed him other domestic discipline blogs and videos to give him a better idea of what I was expecting. It was very hard for me, as a submissive, to tell him what I wanted and what I was looking for. It was also difficult to have to show my husband how to dominate me, but I did it. After I explained to him what domestic discipline was and told him that I wanted to write a list of rules that, if broken, he would punish me for, he agreed to participate. I was elated. We discussed rules, punishments, maintenance spankings, and how this would benefit our marriage. Once I was finally able to make him understand, things got a lot better. He finally started spanking me without me having to ask. He got into it and even started mixing it up with different implements. We still have a long road a head and a lot of bumps to iron out, but we have made a lot of progress.
My advice:
Take it slow, Rome wasn’t built in a day and it will take some time to warm your partner up to the idea of having this sort of relationship. Just like building any sort of relationship takes time, building one this intimate takes a lot of communication, honesty, and TIME.
Communicate. This was my biggest problem because I wasn’t able to vocalize my expectations. I just sort of expected him to figure it out and take it from there, but he was completely in the dark and had no idea what to do. Once I was able to calmly sit down and talk about it, and allowed him to ask questions, things progressed a lot better and faster.
Reward progress. My husband and I have taken baby steps over the last 2 years. I always tried to reward progress, and I still do. After he spanks me, I am always completely submissive and affectionate. All I want to do is cuddle and love him and I do exactly as I am told. He loved this part of spanking me. In the beginning, I would also reward him with something sexual. What man doesn’t want a blow job in exchange for a good spanking?? If you reward him with something good each time he spanks you, he is going to be more inclined to do it. . .make sense?
I’m not sure if this will help anyone, but I see a lot of posts from women wanting to be in a domestic displine relationship or simply wanting their partners to spank them. It was a very long road for me. . .probably a lot longer than most women would want to have to wait, but we did finally get there and we have a very functional domestic discipline marriage.

Spanking II

When my husband spanks me when he is really mad, I find that the spanking is always more effective. I broke the rule about respecting each other at all times. My husband has been very busy this week with work and he has been taking classes this week. For him, Wednesdays are more like his Friday, he works half a day and gets out at 11 pm and is off until Sunday evening. Well last night I waited up for him to get home. I had barely seen or spoken with him this week and I missed him. Well when he got home he claimed he wasn’t feeling that great and wanted to sleep on the couch. The next morning after I had woken up I realized my husband had already left for class and hadn’t said goodbye to me or anything. Needless to say, I was pretty upset. I really missed my husband and felt quite neglected, so when he got home I was less than pleasant. I’ve never been good at coming out and stating my feelings, I always sort of beat around the bush. So instead if saying that he had hurt my feelings I ignored him and gave him attitude. Well, he wasn’t having it. I was laying on the bed and he has never ripped down my pants so fast. He.didn’t use any implement other than his hand but he didn’t have to. His hand can be the worst implement of them all when he wants it to be. He spanked my bottom so hard I couldn’t help but squeal in pain. It wasn’t a long spanking but he really got the point across. Each swat came down hard on my bottom and it burned! He told me he wasn’t going to tolerate my behavior and reminded me that he had been incredibly busy this week and didn’t need my attitude on top of everything else. I learned my lesson in the 15 or so swats he delivered as I was begging him to stop and nearly crying by the end of it. Somehow I have a feeling that won’t be my last spanking of the weekend…

Maintenance Spanking

My husband thinks I should be spanked at least once a week for maintenance in addition to any spankings that I get as punishment. We believe a maintenance spanking is a moderate spanking given once a week as a reminder to behave. I know different couples use maintenance spankings differently, such as to keep your pain tolerance up.
I was given a maintenance spanking just the other day. It wasn’t an especially long spanking, or a terribly painful one. Just enough to make my bottom sting for a bit and remind me to be a good girl, because spankings are much worse when I am bad. While the baby was napping, my husband brought me upstairs with his belt and the dreaded paddle in hand. He had me remove my jeans myself and then get on all fours on the bed. He proceeded to pull down my panties with the paddle in his hand, while I pleaded for him not to use the paddle this time. He didn’t listen. He started with the paddle and alternated sides for about 5 minutes. It stung, but he didn’t paddle me as hard as he had when he was punishing me with the paddle. My bottom was red and hot none the less. Then he picked up the belt. He hasn’t used the belt in a while and I had forgotten how it feels to be spanked with it. He spanked me for another five minutes with the belt and then I was done. The belt hurt quite a bit, but still not nearly as much as it does when I am being punished. It was a good reminder. I was whining and squirming (I don’t know how people can be still and quiet during spankings) and my bottom was nice and red and warm. I was then able to pull up my panties and pants, give my husband a kiss, and go about my business. I love my husband.

The Rules: Part II

My husband and I have been talking about changing the rules pretty much since he and I came up with the original rules. Well, it’s taken us a few months, but we have finally come up with our updated set of rules. They are as follows:

1) Honesty, Always
2) Safe driving at all times, especially with the baby
3) Always Treat Each Other With Respect
4) Don’t Go To Bed Angry
5) No Temper Tantrums
6) Keep Up With House Work
7) No Name Calling
8) No Excessive Spending
9) No Swearing Around Little Ears
10) No arguing after a decision has been made

We have ordered the rules by how important we think they are. We plan to make a corresponding list of punishments to go with it, so my husband will always know exactly how he is supposed to punish me based on the rule I break and how many times I have broken it. I wanted to color code it, but I couldn’t seem to figure out how to do that on here. . . Well anyways, new list of punishments coming soon 🙂