I Love It When…

I love it when my husband stares into my eyes like he is trying to look into my soul.  What is it about a certain man’s stare that can make a woman feel so vulnerable?  It’s almost like they are seeing things that they shouldn’t.  The things we keep hidden sometimes even from ourselves.  I have known my husband since I was a sophomore and he was a senior in high school and he knows more about me than anyone in the world, but he still makes me feel shy, vulnerable, and naked.  Not in a bad way though.  In a way that makes me feel feminine, submissive, enamored, and lustful.  Most of you understand 🙂

I love it when my husband holds me down.  He will pin my hands above my head with his, it is such a turn on.  I love it when he takes away my control because I have a lot of responsibility and “control” everyday, so losing it for a few minutes to a man I love and trust can be a beautiful thing.  However, I prefer him to take it than for me to give it.

I love it when my husband makes demands in the bedroom, especially during my punishments.  It was really, very hard for me to get him to the point where he is now as far as his Dominance, his role in our Domestic Discipline Relationship, and comfort with punishing me.  So sexual demands and punishment demands are a wonderful thing and I love submitting to them.

I love it when my husband pulls my hair.  It always makes me instantly alert and ready to submit.  He never pulls to hard, or hurts me too much.  Always just enough to get my attention. 
I love it when my husband tells me I am going to be spanked.  I have tried to explain the difference between saying “do you want a spanking?” Or  “You are going to get a spanking.”  It’s the difference of me making the decision and being in control of the situation or my husband taking control and making the decision.  Seeing the trend yet?

I love it when my husband pulls down my panties.  Something about this act makes me feel very vulnerable and exposed even though my husband has seen me naked hundreds of times (from all different angles too 😉 ).  I always feel my heart start to pound a little harder when he does this.

I love a lot of things about my husband, I could list hundreds of things.  I am a lucky lady and I am so excited to be celebrating our One Year Wedding Anniversary in 3 days.  Everyone at our wedding wished us “a lifetime of happiness”…he gives me that everyday.  Even on the days we bicker and don’t see eye to eye. 


I can’t believe it, the thought of writing a post about my One Year Wedding Anniversary hadn’t even crossed my mind…until 2 seconds ago when I was so shocked that I hadn’t that I had to write one RIGHT NOW! 

Our One-Year will be on August 25th.  We are planning a little weekend get away and leaving our daughter with my parents.  We are getting up early on Saturday so my husband can get to his drivers’ meeting at 7 AM while I do a little shopping.  (Shhhh don’t tell, I am going to surprise him with lingerie!)  Then, we are going straight to the Racetrack to bet on the horses.  After that, we will go to check into our hotel and find a restaurant/bar where I can have a few shots and prepare for the night ahead.  I know I am in for a spanking that night, he has had so few opportunities to do so lately that I am sure he will come up with a reason to spank me if I don’t give him one O:)

The following day will be spent shopping, playing miniature golf, and probably rushing back to hold my baby.  This will be my first night without her and I am a little apprehensive.  I am not sure how well I am going to sleep knowing she isn’t just a few feet away from me.  Not that I sleep when she is either…That is also where the alcohol comes in :p.

So, hopefully things go as planned and we have a nice weekend.  I definitely need it!  I am also very excited for my year-old-frost-bitten-wedding-cake and champagne! I will be sure to let you know how my anniversary spanking goes on Monday, and maybe pictures to go with it??? We will see.

Good News!!!

So our waiting and our hard work has finally paid off!  My husband and I are not only going to be homeowners, but we are also going to be landlords!  We are very excited about the good news, it was much needed after losing Jack.  It will be a little while before we get to move in because there are still people living there, but soon!  I can’t wait to decorate, buy furniture, designate a spanking room 😉 , and really make our new house a home.   This is why my husband has been so busy and unable to spank me, he has been working 70 hour weeks so that we can save as much money as possible for the coming expenses.  Isn’t he fantastic?

I’m a happy happy girl.

Sorry for the short post, but I wanted to share the news!  More to come 🙂

Happy Father’s Day

With Father’s Day fast approaching I would like to wish all of the Daddy’s out there a Happy Father’s Day, especially to the most amazing husband and father in my life. This will be my husband’s first Father’s Day. We found out I was pregnant the day after Father’s Day last year.

My husband is an amazing father and a great man. No matter what he does, my daughter and I always come first. He works hard everyday so that I am able to stay home and take care of her and he can give us everything that we want and need. He is a very kind, gentle, and loving man with a huge heart. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t make me smile and laugh.

He takes lots of time with his daughter, you can see in his eyes how much he loves her. When she was born he hovered over her every second. He never left our side. From day one, he has been the best Daddy I could ever wish to have for my little girl. He took care of me while I was pregnant, always making sure I was happy and comfortable. While I was in the hospital he did everything he could to make me feel better and make sure I had the best experience possible. He always put my wants and needs before his own. Then, on that amazing day she was born, both of our lives changed for the better.

I watched my husband transition from a young man to a father, and it was a beautiful thing to witness. The first time he held her, he cried. I’ve never seen such wonder and amazement on his face. He changed nearly every diaper while we were in the hospital and barely let me hold her because he was so attached.

Everyday he goes to work so that we can give our daughter the best life possible. When he comes home, he helps me with the baby and spends time with us. He even takes the time to make sure I am well behaved and reaching my goals and takes care of it when I’m not. It takes a very strong man to punish a grown woman without taking it too far. He punishes me because he loves me and knows I need it, not because he enjoys hurting me.

My daughter and I are extremely fortunate to have such a strong, loving, and attentive man in our lives. We got him some very nice gifts for Father’s day and we are going to make sure to spoil him rotten. He may not have been a Daddy for very long, but he is the best Daddy there is. ❤

How I Convinced My Husband. . .

I see a lot of women online asking “how do I get my husband to spank me,” or “how do I get my husband interested in domestic discipline,” or something of that nature. My husband was not even aware of domestic discipline when we got together and he was quite vanilla sexually as well. It took a long time to get him to the place that he is now, and it wasn’t easy. Our relationship may have progressed faster if I was able to vocalize exactly what I wanted and expected, but I was shy. It has always been difficult for me to express that I feel like I need to be spanked and punished and that I am into different thigs sexually. I am always afraid of freaking someone out and scaring them off. I had eased my husband into it over the course of a year. I started out by simply telling him I liked to be spanked. I’m sure he assumed I meant just sexually, and I let him think that because I wasn’t about to tell him that I liked my bottom beat for punishment. So he would playfully spank me while we were in bed. Then I told him that I liked to be dominated. I like the feeling of being helpless and the lack of control. So he would exercise power over me sexually from time to time. When I finally got up the nerve to tell him that I wanted him to punish me that’s where we ran into problems. Like any man with a good mother, he was raised that hitting women is wrong. He wasn’t comfortable causing me pain or treating me like a child. I think this is a common problem. I took my time with him and I didn’t push. If I had pushed too hard I think it would have completely turned him off to the idea. He would have been too uncomfortable and it would have just caused arguments instead of progress. So I took my time and slowly got him more comfortable with the idea of spanking me. I explained to him that it was consentual and I was asking him to do it, so he didn’t need to look at it like he was hurting me. He would spank me from time to time, but for him it was more sexual than anything. Each time he would spank me, I would show him how submissive it made me feel, and I think he liked that. At this point, whenever he would spank me I would have to ask for it. Something I hated to do. I would basically beg him to spank me without me having to ask, but he never did. This was my fault. He didn’t know when to spank me. We didn’t have rules set and he felt weird just telling me to bend over for a spanking for no reason. After a while, he told me he sort of enjoyed spanking me and he was getting more comfortable with it, but he still didn’t know when to punish me. Finally, after about a year, I got the guts to sit down with him and explain to him exactly what I wanted. We would have had a lot less problems if I had done this in the first place, I think. I sat him down and showed him other domestic discipline blogs and videos to give him a better idea of what I was expecting. It was very hard for me, as a submissive, to tell him what I wanted and what I was looking for. It was also difficult to have to show my husband how to dominate me, but I did it. After I explained to him what domestic discipline was and told him that I wanted to write a list of rules that, if broken, he would punish me for, he agreed to participate. I was elated. We discussed rules, punishments, maintenance spankings, and how this would benefit our marriage. Once I was finally able to make him understand, things got a lot better. He finally started spanking me without me having to ask. He got into it and even started mixing it up with different implements. We still have a long road a head and a lot of bumps to iron out, but we have made a lot of progress.
My advice:
Take it slow, Rome wasn’t built in a day and it will take some time to warm your partner up to the idea of having this sort of relationship. Just like building any sort of relationship takes time, building one this intimate takes a lot of communication, honesty, and TIME.
Communicate. This was my biggest problem because I wasn’t able to vocalize my expectations. I just sort of expected him to figure it out and take it from there, but he was completely in the dark and had no idea what to do. Once I was able to calmly sit down and talk about it, and allowed him to ask questions, things progressed a lot better and faster.
Reward progress. My husband and I have taken baby steps over the last 2 years. I always tried to reward progress, and I still do. After he spanks me, I am always completely submissive and affectionate. All I want to do is cuddle and love him and I do exactly as I am told. He loved this part of spanking me. In the beginning, I would also reward him with something sexual. What man doesn’t want a blow job in exchange for a good spanking?? If you reward him with something good each time he spanks you, he is going to be more inclined to do it. . .make sense?
I’m not sure if this will help anyone, but I see a lot of posts from women wanting to be in a domestic displine relationship or simply wanting their partners to spank them. It was a very long road for me. . .probably a lot longer than most women would want to have to wait, but we did finally get there and we have a very functional domestic discipline marriage.

My First Time: Spanking

I have been trying very hard to remember the first time I was spanked, and I’ve been having a difficult time. I wasn’t really spanked as a child, and the times that I was, I don’t remember them. Blocked them out perhaps? I want to say that first person to spank me since was probably the boyfriend I had that gave me my first (well, second) enema. Though I can’t imagine him doing it as a punishment thing. He probably did it more so as a sexual thing. I’m not sure I even knew that I was more into the punishment style situation than the spanking itself. I’m pretty sure he would have been the first to spank me because he was the first I really started to explore anything out of the ordinary with. I was quite open with him and if I told him about my enema interests and explored those with him, I’m quite sure I did the same with spanking. I can’t remember a specific account of anytime that he spanked me though. I’m pretty sure the first person that spanked me for punishment was the same guy that I first experienced figging with. Though the BEST spanking I ever received was about a year after that. I was in college and at the time, I was quite the wild girl. I liked to party a lot, and serial date. I, once again, met a man online that shared the same interests as me. I was going to school in southern NY and he was from northern PA.
After talking online for sometime I invited him up to meet me. We agreed to meet in town at a public place. He had to drive to me because I couldn’t have a car on campus my freshman year. It was about a 2 hour drive for him, if I remember correctly. He picked me up from college and we drove about a mile to town and went to a bar. He was about 10 years older than me, which was perfect in my opinion. We wanted to have one neutral meeting to decide if we wanted to start seeing each other regularly and where we wanted to take this. We hit it off so we decided to get together again. The next time he was going to pick me up and take me back to his place in Pennsylvania for the weekend. It’s lucky he wasn’t a murderer!
He set rules for me to follow while I was at school. I had a curfew, no swearing, and a few others that I can’t seem to remember. Regardless, I broke them. He lectured me for part of the trip from college to his appartment. He told me as soon as we got to his place he was going to have me take my clothes off and stand in the corner. That’s exactly what he did. Then he got out a few of his implements and had me go into the living room where I got over his knee while he spanked me with his hand. It wasn’t long before my bottom was on fire. Then he had me follow him into the bedroom where he again put me over his knee and spanked me with a small paddle that he had. My butt began to bruise quickly. He continued to lecture me about rules and respect and then finished by having me bend over the couch for a spanking with a ruler. My bottom was seriously purple for a week. It hurt to wear pants! It was the hardest I had ever been spanked, but I have never felt like such a naughty little girl since. That’s what I’m striving to achieve with my husband now. We’re getting there!

My First Time: Enema

This is another account of one of my first experiences that has not happened in my relationship with my husband. I had my first experience with an enema as a small child, though the first sexual experience I had with them was when I was 17 with my boyfriend at the time.
When I was 3 I was constipated a lot. My mom told me on the way to the doctors that she had planned to tell the doctor that I hadn’t been going to the bathroom. I begged her not to because that subject was so embarrassing to me. She told the doctor anyways and her solution was to have my mother give me a fleets enema. I didn’t know what that was, but I didn’t like the sound of it. I even remember the first thought that popped into my head after the doctor said “enema” was, “which end does that go in. . .?”
That night my mother called me into the bathroom. If I remember correctly, she had to chase me around the house a bit to get me to comply. Then she read the directions to me, which said I could either lay on my side with my knee up or get on all fours. I liked the get on all fours plan better because that way my mother couldn’t see my face. I was so embarrassed by the whole situation even at 3. She put down a towel, put vaseline on the nozzle and had me get into position. She then inserted the nozzle and started squeezing the small fleets enema bottle. I immediately started to whine and complain that I had to use the bathroom. She told me she had to give me almost the entire bottle. I cried. She finally let me up to expell and she stayed in the bathroom with me while I did it. When I was finally finished I left the bathroom and went into the kitchen with a tear streaked face. My grandmother and great grandmother were in there playing cards and my grandmother said “aww, enemas aren’t fun, are they.” I was so embarrassed.

To my knowledge that was the last enema I had received before I was 17. I hated the enema I had received when I was 3 but there must have been something about it I liked because it had been a sexual fantasy of mine for a long time. I had not admitted it to anyone prior to my boyfriend at the time who admitted that he was also a fan of anal play. I’m not sure how we finally got to it, but one night he suggested giving me an enema. I was shy and embarrassed, but I agreed. His step-mom was a nurse and he had a syringe enema in his bathroom. So he filled up a big bowl with warm water, put a towel on his bed, and had me take off my pants. He gave me the majority of the water in the bowl and then let me run downstairs to use the bathroom. When I got back upstairs he asked me to give him one. This was the first and only time I had ever stuck anything up a man’s ass. It was quite out of character for me, but I felt obligated to agree. So I gave him an enema as well and then let him run to the bathroom. He gave me a few enemas after that as well, we both enjoyed it.