My husband and I have been talking about changing the rules pretty much since he and I came up with the original rules. Well, it’s taken us a few months, but we have finally come up with our updated set of rules. They are as follows:
1) Honesty, Always
2) Safe driving at all times, especially with the baby
3) Always Treat Each Other With Respect
4) Don’t Go To Bed Angry
5) No Temper Tantrums
6) Keep Up With House Work
7) No Name Calling
8) No Excessive Spending
9) No Swearing Around Little Ears
10) No arguing after a decision has been made
We have ordered the rules by how important we think they are. We plan to make a corresponding list of punishments to go with it, so my husband will always know exactly how he is supposed to punish me based on the rule I break and how many times I have broken it. I wanted to color code it, but I couldn’t seem to figure out how to do that on here. . . Well anyways, new list of punishments coming soon 🙂
My husband and I finally got the opportunity to sit down and discuss my goals, the rules, and everything related to our domestic discipline lifestyle. Our main focus was to discuss my goals and this is what we decided on:
1. Lose 5 pounds a month (We decided 10 pounds seemed a bit high and hard to obtain. So we agreed that if I gain any weight or don’t lose at least 5 pounds in a month, I will be punished to his liking)
1b. Exercise daily (We have both started doing yoga together and we want to make a point to do at least 15 minutes of it a day. If we miss a day I probably won’t get punished as long as there is a good reason, but if I start really slacking or just get lazy, well. . .you know how it goes)
2. Stop calling my husband names. (I think we both agreed this is a big one I need to work on)
3. Stop swearing. (My husband and I both have this bad habit that we need to break. We agreed to get after each other on this one and he is going to start making notes or a tally chart for how often I swear so he knows when and how to punish me for it)
4. Limit my drinking (My husband has agreed to help me with this one. I have asked him to give me a number of drinks I am allowed each week and if I drink too much it is my responsibility to be honest with him and confess).
5. Be more independent (I was actually surprised that my husband really liked this goal. I thought he was going to tell me that I am independent enough, but he actually agreed that I needed to start doing more things myself and alone. He is going to make a point to push me to do so and I have abstain from arguing with him about it)
6. Start writing again (He is going to see to it that I start making progress on a book otherwise I will be punished. How’s that for incentive?)
We also discussed our rules and plan to sit down again and redo them. We didn’t do so tonight because we were talking outside and we wanted to sit down at my computer to get some ideas and make sure we write them down. The one thing we did discuss was that I need to stop playing certain practical jokes. Sometimes, when I get bored, I like to pour cold water on him while he is in the shower. I personally find it hilarious, but he doesn’t so much. He wanted to make that a rule, but I will save that for another post. Feedback is always appreciated
As I have said before, my husband and I are relatively new to the Domestic Discipline lifestyle. I am always reading blogs and posts online to get more information. I have been reading this blog: http://www.adomesticdisciplinesociety.blogspot.com recently and I like what he has to say. In a few of his posts he talks about having a weekly sit down discussion about everything domestic discipline. I suggested that to my husband and he agreed that it was a good idea. The blogger also said for the sit down discussion I should have a list of goals that I want to achieve, and my husband should also have a list of things he thinks I should work on. Then we can talk about them and discuss appropriate punishment if I don’t reach my goals or if I start back tracking. Also ideas that we liked. There were somethings in the blog that we didn’t particularly like or think was necessary like starting a calendar because I have this blog where I record everything. But anyway, here is my list of goals:
1. Lose 10 pounds a month until goal weight is reached(Still have 15 pounds of baby weight to go, but I want to lose a bit more than that).
1b. Exercise at least twice a week.
2. Stop calling my husband names (I have the bad habit of saying things like, “stop being such a dick.”)
3. Stop swearing. (This is a rule, but my husband hasn’t really been enforcing it. This will be discussed this week)
4. Limit my drinking (Since I am no longer pregnant I have been drinking a lot more. I don’t get drunk, but I will have a drink probably once a day, and I don’t really want that to be the case. I will let my husband decide how much I am allowed to drink per month)
5. Be more independent (Since we have gotten married and have a baby and I have been very dependent on my husband. To an extent I know my husband likes it, but I feel like a child when I need to be an adult and mother. I don’t leave the house or do much of anything without him.)
6. Start writing again. (I used to write books once upon a time, none that I have ever sought to have published, but I would like to try to write another novel and, hopefully, get published this time)
This is what I have come up with so far. I have not yet mentioned any of them to my husband, but plan to this week when we can sit down and talk. I will write a post about how the discussion goes and his response to my goals. We are also working on a new and improved list of rules. Feedback is always appreciated 🙂
My husband and I have started with a basic set of rules and plan to expand on them over time. If anyone has any suggestions of how to improve these or things to add, we are always open minded to new ideas.
1. I am not allowed to disrespect him. That includes name calling, yelling, attitude, etc.
2. I am supposed to complete my weekly and daily chores.
3. I am not allowed to swear. (This one really hasn’t been enforced yet, but it was my idea because of the baby coming.)
4. I am supposed to be open with him and communicate everything.
5. I am not allowed to lie, cheat, or mislead him.
6. I am to be spanked at least once a week. If I haven’t misbehaved, I get a maintenance spanking.
All of these rules also apply to him, though I don’t spank or punish him when he misbehaves. We feel that these are general rules for any marriage and the only one I tend to have a problem with is the first one. I sometimes get a bit of an attitude and say things I shouldn’t. I will add and amend the rules as needed, but for now that’s basically what we go by. In the event that I break one or more of these rules I am punished by my husband. You can read about how he punishes me in another post 🙂