Crying

I have never really cried from a spanking. Not to say that I haven’t been spanked hard or made an effort to cry, but it hasn’t happened yet. Could it be that I don’t feel bad enough for what I had done to deserve a spanking? Or that I am still not being spanked quite hard enough? In my opinion, my husband spanks me quite hard. He also lectures me the majority of the time he is spanking me, which always makes me feel ashamed. On occasion, he will spank me hard enough that my bottom is quite black and blue, though that doesn’t happen often. The spankings I am given usually cause me to whine, squirm, beg, and apologize, but never actually produce tears. The other day I was spanked because I had back tracked on one of my goals. My husband and I have been very busy that last week or two and we have really slacked on the yoga. He wasn’t going to punish me for it because of how hectic it had been, but when I told him I had also gained back a few pounds he thought that I deserved it. He didn’t spank me too severely because my goal was to lose 5 pounds each month and the month still isn’t over with yet, but I had back tracked. He had me on all fours on our bed with my pants and panties down while he spanked me with his hand. As I have said before, sometimes his hand can be the worst implement of all and this time he spanked me quite hard. He didn’t use any other implements, but he didn’t have to. I tried my hardest to stay still, I knew I deserved the spanking I was receiving and I tried to take it well. It wasn’t easy. By the end of it, however, I had started to tear up. I can’t say I was crying, but I had a few stray tears. I can say that I felt worse about back tracking on one of my own goals, especially this particular one, than I sometimes feel when I break a rule and get punished. I would really appreciate feedback on this one. Is crying during a spanking more of an emotional response from the guilt and shame you feel? Is it a response to the pain from the spanking itself? A combination, perhaps? Or is it something completely different? Since my punishment for back tracking on my own weightloss goal I have lost 2 pounds and I am well on my way to meeting my goal this month.

Sit Down Discussion I

My husband and I finally got the opportunity to sit down and discuss my goals, the rules, and everything related to our domestic discipline lifestyle. Our main focus was to discuss my goals and this is what we decided on:

1. Lose 5 pounds a month (We decided 10 pounds seemed a bit high and hard to obtain. So we agreed that if I gain any weight or don’t lose at least 5 pounds in a month, I will be punished to his liking)
1b. Exercise daily (We have both started doing yoga together and we want to make a point to do at least 15 minutes of it a day. If we miss a day I probably won’t get punished as long as there is a good reason, but if I start really slacking or just get lazy, well. . .you know how it goes)
2. Stop calling my husband names. (I think we both agreed this is a big one I need to work on)
3. Stop swearing. (My husband and I both have this bad habit that we need to break. We agreed to get after each other on this one and he is going to start making notes or a tally chart for how often I swear so he knows when and how to punish me for it)
4. Limit my drinking (My husband has agreed to help me with this one. I have asked him to give me a number of drinks I am allowed each week and if I drink too much it is my responsibility to be honest with him and confess).
5. Be more independent (I was actually surprised that my husband really liked this goal. I thought he was going to tell me that I am independent enough, but he actually agreed that I needed to start doing more things myself and alone. He is going to make a point to push me to do so and I have abstain from arguing with him about it)
6. Start writing again (He is going to see to it that I start making progress on a book otherwise I will be punished. How’s that for incentive?)

We also discussed our rules and plan to sit down again and redo them. We didn’t do so tonight because we were talking outside and we wanted to sit down at my computer to get some ideas and make sure we write them down. The one thing we did discuss was that I need to stop playing certain practical jokes. Sometimes, when I get bored, I like to pour cold water on him while he is in the shower. I personally find it hilarious, but he doesn’t so much. He wanted to make that a rule, but I will save that for another post. Feedback is always appreciated

Goals

As I have said before, my husband and I are relatively new to the Domestic Discipline lifestyle. I am always reading blogs and posts online to get more information. I have been reading this blog: http://www.adomesticdisciplinesociety.blogspot.com recently and I like what he has to say. In a few of his posts he talks about having a weekly sit down discussion about everything domestic discipline. I suggested that to my husband and he agreed that it was a good idea. The blogger also said for the sit down discussion I should have a list of goals that I want to achieve, and my husband should also have a list of things he thinks I should work on. Then we can talk about them and discuss appropriate punishment if I don’t reach my goals or if I start back tracking. Also ideas that we liked. There were somethings in the blog that we didn’t particularly like or think was necessary like starting a calendar because I have this blog where I record everything. But anyway, here is my list of goals:

1. Lose 10 pounds a month until goal weight is reached(Still have 15 pounds of baby weight to go, but I want to lose a bit more than that).
1b. Exercise at least twice a week.
2. Stop calling my husband names (I have the bad habit of saying things like, “stop being such a dick.”)
3. Stop swearing. (This is a rule, but my husband hasn’t really been enforcing it. This will be discussed this week)
4. Limit my drinking (Since I am no longer pregnant I have been drinking a lot more. I don’t get drunk, but I will have a drink probably once a day, and I don’t really want that to be the case. I will let my husband decide how much I am allowed to drink per month)
5. Be more independent (Since we have gotten married and have a baby and I have been very dependent on my husband. To an extent I know my husband likes it, but I feel like a child when I need to be an adult and mother. I don’t leave the house or do much of anything without him.)
6. Start writing again. (I used to write books once upon a time, none that I have ever sought to have published, but I would like to try to write another novel and, hopefully, get published this time)

This is what I have come up with so far. I have not yet mentioned any of them to my husband, but plan to this week when we can sit down and talk. I will write a post about how the discussion goes and his response to my goals. We are also working on a new and improved list of rules. Feedback is always appreciated 🙂